Welcome to the Mad House Ch. 15 House Guest

Chapter Fifteen

House Guest

Dr. Fitz punched in at Arkham Asylum and smiled at the female orderlie that was next in line to punch in. "Hello," he said, softly, his British accent making the word sound even better. The orderlie turned bright pink and smiled back. "How are you this morning?" he asked her, smiling and revealing his teeth. Many a girl had been dazzled by his charming grin.

The orderlie started to answer but was interrupted by someone else's voice singing.

"Let's go crazy
Let's get nuts
Let's look for the purple banana
Until they put us in the truck, let's go!"

Dr. Fitz looked to the doors in time to see Nurse Amber Johnson waltz in, iPod ear buds in place, and singing a Prince song. Her attention was focused on stuffing her car keys and cell phone into her messenger bag and didn't realize that she had an audience. Dr. Fitz was preoccupied with watching her and didn't see the orderlie leave.

"And when we do
What's it all for
You better live now
Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door
Tell me, are we gonna let the elevator bring us down?
Oh, no let's go!"

She didn't have a bad voice. He'd even say that it was very good. Not a 'you should be famous with that voice' but one that could probably give her a decent singing career in small show business.

Dr. Fitz continued to listen to her and smiled when Amber's head finally lifted up from her bag and her eyes landed on him. Her singing stopped immediately; like a mute button had been pressed. Her cheeks colored a light red and she removed her ear buds. "I'm usually the only one in here at this time," she explained, sheepishly.

Dr. Fitz chuckled with amusement. "I take it you don't sing in front of people?"

"Unless you count my own reflection or animals. No. My lips zip shut." Amber mimed zipping her lips and turned to her locker.

"Pity. It's rather pretty."

Amber missed the second digit of her combination and sucked in her lips. "Hm. Thanks."

"You don't sound convinced."

"Not really, especially when it's coming from you."

Fitz physically flinched from the sharp comment that seemed to have come from nowhere. He had judged her to be a very nice girl when it came to socializing with people of sound minds. "Why is that?"

"Oh, maybe it's because you insulted me the first time we met?" Amber asked with some sarcasm creeping into her voice.

"Insulted?"

Dang that accent made him sound so sexy! Amber opened her locker and transferred her bag from her shoulder to the locker. "You commented on my position. I believe you said," she paused and spoke with a British accent, "'It's rather impressive since you're merely a nurse and not a doctor or psychiatrist.'" An envelope lying on the bottom of her locker caught her eye and she picked it up. She cast a quick glance over it and slipped it into her scrub's pants pocket.

Fitz put on his charming smile and shook his head. "I meant no disrespect. It's just that intelligent nurses are a rare find."

Amber slammed her locker door closed. "Oh, so to cover up the insult you said to me you insult the intelligence of all the other nurses to get on my good side?" she snapped.

"I meant-."

"I gotta go, Dr. Fitz. I'd say it was nice talking to ya, but…" She shrugged and walked away.

Dr. Fitz stood in the employee room alone and stunned. "Erm…. What just happened?"

…

"Ugh! Sexy, British guy. Jerk. Smug faced-pretty boy," Amber growled as she stormed down the hall. She shoved her hands into her pockets and felt the envelope. She had almost forgotten about it. Pulling it out, Amber once again glanced over the envelope to see if there was anything written but found nothing. "Hm… what if…?" It had been a few months since her last 'Mysterious Letter'. Maybe this was another one of those? Amber couldn't help but grin as she tore open the letter and began to read.

"Amber,
Hard to believe this is the same girl who was trembling with fear when she first came. You've shown such improvements ever since then. It's very nice to have someone as lovely as you working in a place as dreary as Arkham. You radiate with a glow that is soothing to all you meet. I'm still watching you with, eager to see what you'll do next."

Amber folded the letter in half. It was still the same. Not exactly a love letter but very nice. Although, that last bit, 'I'm still watching you,' was kinda… creepy. Amber shook it off and continued walking down the hall towards her awaiting patients.

…

"Let's go crazy
Let's get nuts
Let's look for the purple banana
Until they put us in the truck, let's go!"

The Joker was beating invisible drums as he lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was currently occupying himself by singing Prince's song, "Let's Go Crazy." It was also annoying the other patients.

"You are singing badly on purpose, Joker! I know you can sing decently! I've heard you!" the Riddler yelled. The Joker paused only long enough to snicker and continued singing.

"It is getting a little annoying," Chelsea said. All heads snapped in the direction of her cell.

"Did she just say what I think she said?" Two-Face asked.

"Hallelujah; she's seen the light!" Katherine cheered.

Crane adjusted his glasses and moved closer to the glass wall to see Chelsea. He looked her over and smirked. "I do believe we have someone who's recovering in our midst."

"You mean she really is getting saner?" Katherine asked.

"One less loony in the bin," Harley remarked.

"One less fan in your club, Joker!"

"I still have more than you, Eddie!"

"Shut it!"

The last remark had come from a different voice. Now all heads turned to the hall entrance. Amber was walking in. "Seriously, every time I walk in there's some sort of an argument going on. What on Earth do you guys argue about?"

"Which one of us is going to marry you," the Joker responded without missing a beat. He gave a cheesy grin when Amber looked at him to see if he was being serious. She relaxed once she saw he was joking.

"Without a doubt; Edward," Amber said with a grin.

"Whaaaaaaaa?" the Joker squawked. The Riddler couldn't help being smug but at the same time felt surprised. Katherine and Katlyn 1 looked about ready to murder Amber.

"But baaaaby, I thought we had somethin' special," the Joker whined.

"What's this 'somethin' special'?" Harley hissed.

"Heel, Harl. Joker's only kidding," Ivy assured.

"Kidding, joking, or whatevah; I don't like it."

"Amber marry Caleb?" Caleb asked, pressing his face against the glass of his cell.

Amber chuckled and smiled at him. "Maybe. I wanna wait a few years before I do something that big." Her answer satisfied Caleb enough. He went back to sitting on his bed and playing with the wrinkles in the bed sheets.

"Well, I can't really blame her for choosing Mr. Riddler. I mean- look at him." Katherine motioned towards the Riddler's cell. "He's a hunk." Edward's smug grin practically blinded everyone.

"Watch out, Eddie. Your head's going to get so big it'll explode," the Joker warned, snickering.

"If it ever does it'll be because you put a bomb in it."

The Joker only responded with snickers and giggles. Amber leaned against the wall as she waited for security to arrive and help her escort the patients to wherever they were scheduled to go.

"Speaking of marriage… has Dr. Ditz popped the question yet?" Katherine snickered.

"It's Dr. Fitz; and there is nothing going on."

The Joker muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Hm? Nothing."

"it sounded like he said something like, 'Not good enough,'" Ivy said.

"Eaves Dropper," Joker snapped.

"What's not good enough, Joker?" Jervis asked.

"Nothing-nobody."

"I think he said 'He's not-,'" Ivy continued.

"Shut up, Vegan!"

"But Mistah J, what did you say?"

"Nothing! Forget I said anything!"

"Easily done," Katherine said, happily.

"Nurse Amber," a guard called from down the hall.

"Oh thank God," Amber mumbled. She pushed herself off the wall and nearly flung herself back against it when she saw that Dr. Fitz was with the guards. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to observe. Is that a problem?"

"He's a Brit?" The Joker scoffed.

"Ah, you must be the infamous Joker."

"I regret nothing."

"Do you really?"

"Yep," Amber and the Joker answered simultaneously. The Joker waggled his eyebrows at Amber. "Finally thinking on the same page as me, Sweet Heart?"

"Nope," Amber said in a teasingly sweet voice.

Dr. Fitz could only blink at their exchange of banter. Any other nurse would have been terrified or a doctor for that matter, Fitz himself was uneasy around the clown, but not Amber. She actually seemed at ease among this group of psychotic criminals.

Fitz felt a pair of eyes staring at him and he turned his head to look to the glass wall to his right. Katlyn 1 was glued to the glass, ogling him with big eyes. "What a hunk!" she exclaimed.

"Nuh-uh! No!" Katherine snapped, bagging her fist against her own glass wall as she craned her head to look at Katlyn's cell. "No! Katlyn! We don't like him!" she reminded her friend.

Katlyn 1 whined and pointed at the startled doctor. "But look at the pretty!" she wailed.

"No! That man is a No Go!"

"But Katheriiiiiine-!"

"Do you want to be banished from The Riddler Club? Do you?!"

All the while, Fitz watched Amber and the guards remove the patients from the cells and put their restraints on. Amber looked so nonchalant. How could she be like that? When it came time for Katlyn 1 to be taken out of her cell, Fitz took a nervous step behind a guard and looked at Amber. "Is it at all possible to make extra sure she can't escape?"

"Aaaw; is the Pretty Boy afraid his good looks are too much of a problem?" Amber asked in a baby voice. The Joker cackled at her jab and grinned madly at the doctor. Fitz ran a hand through his blond curly hair and looked away from the Joker.

Once all the patents had been restrained, Amber looked at their schedule and tapped her left foot to a beat only she could hear in her mind. "It says here that you guys are scheduled for some rec time outside."

"Yea! Outside!" Katlyn 1 cheered, jumping up and down and causing Fitz to be nervous at how well she was able to move in her restraints.

Amber noticed his nervousness and rolled her eyes. "Oh calm down, doctor. It's not like she's gonna jump ya."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Please, I have self-restraint," Katlyn 1 said, clearly insulted.

"It just depends on when you decide to use it," Amber chuckled. Katlyn 1 stuck out her tongue and Amber stuck out her own in friendly retaliation. "This way, people," Amber called to her patients, motioning forward.

They followed her to the outer grounds and waited to have their hands and/or feet freed. "Okay, everyone, who knows how to play Red Light, Green Light?"

The Joker scoffed. "Oh please! Everyone knows that game. You go when it's green and keep going when it's red."

"Eh, no. You stop on red."

"Well that's not how I drive."

"I figured."

Amber drew a line in the dirt with the toe of her shoe and stepped back. "This is the starting line. Everyone step up."

"Do we win a door prize if we do?" Harvey asked, sarcastically. A few others chuckled as well. Amber could tell they weren't too crazy about playing this childish game.

"Look, I know you're all mostly adults here, but you can ether play this game or Red Rover."

"Red Light it is!" Harvey answered quickly.

"Why can't we play Hide and Seek?" Harley asked.

"Oooh! That'll be fun. You girls can hide and us boys can seek," the Joker said, his tone hinting at the innuendo while he looked at Harley and threw a glance at Amber.

"You just threatened Nurse Amber!" Dr. Fitz cried out, catching the sneaked glance.

"Moi?" the Joker asked, dramatically.

"Dr. Fitz, he does that all the time," Amber told Bernard.

"Then he should be thrown into Isolation!"

"He's the Joker, Dr. Fitz. You learn what to take serious and what to brush off. Now if you would please be quiet so we can play our game?"

Dr. Fitz held his pen tightly in his hand as he fought to hold back some remarks. "Very well," he seethed.

"Line up!"

The patients stood at the start line as Amber walked out a decent distance from them. She looked at the guards to make sure they were on alert for anything that might happen. Since the patents were dangerous, Amber was going to have to forgo the rule of having her back turned during the game and face them head on.

"Alright. Are we ready?"

"Yes!"

"Okay… Red light!"

Jervis and Tommy had lunged forward and jumped back once they realized she had tricked them. "Sorry, boys, you're out."

"Aaw," Tommy whined and went to join his cousin sitting on the ground next to Guard Titus.

"Gah haha ha ha ha!" the Joker laughed.

"Be a good sport, Joker," the Riddler said.

"There's nothing good or sport-like in me, Eddie."

"So I've noticed."

"What's that supposed to me Twig Boy?"

"I outta-!"

"Green light!"

"Hold that thought, Eddie!"

Everyone dashed forward as fast as they could towards Amber. She counted silently to five and shouted, "Red light!" They all stopped on a dime. She couldn't determine if anyone had stopped too late. "Okaaaay… green light!"

The mad dash started again only to be cut short when Amber yelled out for red two seconds later. This time Chelsea didn't stop in time. "Chels, yer out."

"D'aw gone it!" She plopped to the ground with a huff next to the Tetchs.

"Green light! Red light!"

Caleb and Harvey had already pushed themselves into a run when the red light came. They stumbled and were called out. The game continued until it was only the Joker, Riddler, Katherine, and Crane. They were all about twenty feet from Amber, except the Joker and Edward; they were around fifteen feet. The next call booted Crane and Katherine from the game. Now the Joker and Edward were neck and neck and both were determined.

"…. Green light!"

The Joker and Edward sprang from their spots and nearly tripped over their feet. When they were about eight feet from Amber she called out a red. Both came to an abrupt halt, huffing and puffing for air. "Red light!" Neither moved.

"Ooooh… this just got real," Katherine whispered.

"Green light!"

WHOMP!

Amber didn't know how it happened. She didn't even see it coming. All she knew was that after she had blinked, there was a sudden force that propelled her back several feet and a heavy weight was on top of her. She shook her head to get rid of the dizzy vision she was experiencing and looked up into the face of the Joker. "That's one small step for Eddie, and one giant, winning leap for the Clown Prince of Crime!" he hooted. "What now, Mr. Prince of Puzzles!"

Amber was very much aware that he was practically straddling her. "Get… Off."

"What's my prize, Sweet Heart?"

"The prize is that I call off the guards so they don't tazer you!"

The Joker harrumphed and rolled off of the young nurse. "You're no fun."

"Yeah, I'm a fun sucker."

"He just assaulted you," Fitz said, narrowing his eyes at the Joker.

Amber got up and brushed some dirt off her red scrubs. "Fitz… chill."

Fitz blinked and opened his mouth as if to say something, only to have nothing come out. He sighed and jotted something down in his notebook.

"He's a bit of a spaz," Ivy whispered to Harley. Harley giggled.

"Alright, is anyone up for another round or is there a different game you guys want to play?"

"I'm still up for Hide and Seek," the Joker replied.

"Too much of a risk," Amber told him. "You have to keep ya'll in sight."

"Can't have any real fun around here," the Joker muttered.

"We could play tag?" Katelynn 2 suggested. She instantly tapped Katherine and jumped up from her sitting position. "Tag; you're it!" She took off running.

Katherine made no move to follow her. "Katherine, aren't you going to chase her?" Amber asked.

"Why would I want to chase her when she's already running from me?"

Amber made a face that said, "Oh come on."

Katherine folded her arms. "Nope."

"Hey, what's that?" Harley asked, pointing at a piece of paper on the ground. It was near the spot that Amber and the Joker had tumbled.

Amber's eyebrows raised ever so slightly. "Oh…that…um."

"Ooooh! Let's take a look!" The Joker snatched it up and was about to unfold it when Amber grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Don't."

"Why not?"

"Just give it here."

"Ooh. Amber doesn't want me to see what's written inside! How interesting!"

"Darn it, Joker; hand it over!" Amber made a grab for the paper only to have the clown whisk it away.

"What's in this letter you don't want me to see, hm?"

"Nothing that concerns you. Give it back!"

"You two act like teenagers with secret crushes on each other," Fitz scoffed. The remark earned him glares from the Joker and Amber.

"Stay out of this, Fitzy," the Joker snapped.

"Funny you should say that though," the Riddler said slyly to Dr. Fitz. He moseyed over to the doctor with Katherine and Katlyn 1 at his side. "It's obvious to us too."

"Wha-what?" Fitz stammered, swiftly glancing back and forth at Edward and Katlyn 1.

"Those two," Edward continued, pointing two fingers at the Joker and Amber, who was still trying to reclaim her letter.

"Don't make me get a tazer!" she threatened.

"How good is your aim?"

"Ugh!"

Katelynn 2 rejoined the group and saw Amber's struggle. "Are we playing Monkey in the Middle?"

"Yeah, kid, Amber's the monkey. Here!" He crumpled the letter into a ball and tossed it to Katelynn 2. She caught it and let out a whoop.

"Alright! Monkeeeeeey!"

"Katelynn 2, wait! Put that down!"

"Wheeeeeeee!" Katelynn 2 was off again, running in zigzags.

"Katelynn! Katelynn! Katel-ugh. Forget it." Amber's shoulders slumped and she let out a sigh.

Fitz signaled a guard to catch Katelynn 2. The guard had a hard time doing it, but he finally managed to corner the girl and take the paper from her. He jogged over and placed the crumpled letter in Bernard Fitz's awaiting hand. He had a smug look on his face as he gave it back to Nurse Amber. "You have to try a little bit harder, love," he told her.

Amber took the paper and refrained from making a sassy remark back. Instead she thanked him with clenched teeth.

"You should really maintain more control over the patients, Nurse Johnson. Stuff like this wouldn't happen so often if you were a bit more …," he pursed his lips –dang sexy ones too- as if in thought and then offered her a condescending smile, "knowledgeable… about how to handle these kinds of people."

Amber's hands tightened around the paper ball. "Well… they aren't your average patients."

"No. Which is why I'm still confused as to how you were given the position of such a responsibility."

Amber's nails dug into the paper and she bit her lip. "I think it's time for us to move onto your next activity, everyone," she called out.

Dr. Fitz scribbled something in his notes and smiled as he walked back to the building. "What a prick," Katherine said, suddenly appearing next to Amber.

"I couldn't agree more."

"He's a bit of a rude house guest, isn't he," Crane added.

"He's going to be watching you for how long?" the Joker asked.

Amber's shoulders tensed. "I have no idea."

"Well… we should show our 'guest' Arkham's finest hospitality," he chuckled evilly.

"I may not stop you."

"I knew you'd join our side eventually."

"There's no joining… but there might be an alliance developing."

"Have you got any ideas inside that pretty head of yours?"

"Give me a day to think about it and I'll get back to you on that."

The Joker rubbed his hands gleefully. "Oooh, this is going to be fun."