Welcome to the Mad House Ch.17 House Sitting

Chapter Seventeen

(House Sitting)

Her name was Jennifer Gilbert, and she had been assigned as Nurse Amber Johnson's substitute while she was on her three day suspension. She was a few years older than Amber, twenty-seven, and had been in nursing longer too. She figured the job would be difficult but nothing she couldn't handle. She had no idea how wrong she was.

Day One

In the Recreation Room

Harley was amusing herself with braiding Ivy's long, red hair. Ivy didn't mind very much, it kept her friend occupied and she could read her new garden magazine in peace. Well, as much peace as you can get in an insane asylum. She was reading an interesting article on how to prolong the life of roses when she heard…

"You look like Mardi Gras spit up on you!"

"My clothes are colorful!"

"They're a toddler's attempt at dressing up!"

Ivy groaned as the argument between Katherine and the Joker escalated. Ever since Nurse Amber had left the day before, the Joker and Katherine had been going at each other none stop; even during the New Year's party that Amber had 'sacrificed' herself for them to go to.

"Would the two of you please just shut up?" Ivy whined. She whined! This is what she was reduced to!

Katherine and the Joker pointed at one another.

"She started it!"

"He started it!"

Crane was sitting in the space beside Ivy, also reading a book. He rolled his eyes and turned a page. "It's no use, Miss Isely."

"I don't see you doing anything," Ivy snapped.

Crane flinched. "Now don't snarl at me. I'm not the one getting into an argument over color coordinating clothes."

Ivy heaved a sigh and tossed the garden magazine onto the table in front of the sofa. Harley inspected the braids she'd made in Ivy's tresses and giggled. "Hey, Red; how about I do your hair like that Princess Leia from Star Wars?"

Ivy whipped her head around to glare at Harley. It was a silent glare but one that carried its message across. "DON'T! YOU! DARE!" Crane did his best to stifle his chuckles but Ivy caught him.

"You think that's funny?" she hissed.

"Honestly?" Crane tried to compose himself… failed. "Yes." He buried his face in his book and received a slap on the arm from Ivy. "Ouch!" he yelped, but still couldn't quite stop his chuckles.

Harley grunted. "Be still, Red, or you're gonna end up lookin' like Leia without me even meanin' to!" Ivy sighed once more and folded her arms over her chest; letting her friend continue playing with her hair.

Chelsea, Tommy, and Jervis were putting a puzzle together. None of them were quite sure what the picture was supposed to be yet. Chelsea squinted at the pieces that were already connected but the image just didn't make sense to her. She huffed and put her cheek in her hand. "I got nuthin'," she confessed.

Jervis was pondering the puzzle as well. "It looks like a bunny."

Chelsea's brow furrowed. She glanced over the pieces again and then looked back at Jervis with a "What the heck?" expression on her face. "How does this look like a bunny?"

"Well… does that not resemble a rabbit tail from this angle?"

Tommy and Chelsea craned their necks to look at the incomplete picture from Jervis' angle. After a few seconds, Chelsea shook her head. "I don't see it."

"What do you see?" Tommy asked, picking up two more pieces and seeing if they fit together. They didn't.

"I see a mess."

Both Tetchs chuckled.

"Well it doesn't help any when the asylum loses the puzzle box it was originally in and replaces it with a plain white box!"

The Riddler sauntered over and stood behind Chelsea, scrutinizing the puzzle on the table. "Oh. I've worked this one before."

"Really? What is it?"

"Bunnies."

Chelsea's jaw dropped and Jervis sat up straighter in his seat. The girl looked at him in disbelief and he smiled at her. "Never doubt the Hatter when it comes to rabbits and bunnies."

Chelsea grabbed a couple of colored markers from Katelyn 1 as she was coloring at the other end of the table. "Hey!' Katlyn 1 whined.

Chelsea waved her hand absent-mindedly at her. "You'll get it back in a minute." She grabbed the top of the plain box and set it down in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Katlyn 1 asked.

"I'm going to draw what this puzzle is on the box like a proper puzzle box is supposed to have!" Chelsea then began to sketch a bunny on the lid.

The Riddler chuckled and moved on to sit in the chair across from Two-Face. Harvey Dent frowned as he stared at someone over the Edward's shoulder. "Well look who it is," he said. Of course everyone turned to look. It was Dr. Fitz. He was smiling his million dollar smile and walking towards their group like he wasn't responsible for sending their favorite nurse away for three days.

"I wonder what kind of news he's about to tell us," Nigma said.

"What makes you think he's got news for us?" Harvey questioned.

"Why else would that man come near us?" Edward countered. Harvey shrugged and turned his attention back to the British doctor.

Fitz cleared his throat and gripped the clipboard he held in his hands, tightly. "I have some news to tell you-."

"You're pregnant!" the Joker squealed like a joyful woman. The group snickered as Dr. Fitz's ears turned red; either from embarrassment or anger.

"No," he said firmly. "No, I'm not pregnant."

"Such a shame, doc. Well, you still got time."

Dr. Fitz fixed the Joker with a stare that was probably intimidating to other people but it did nothing but amuse the Joker.

"Uuuh, are you trying to engage me in a staring contest, doc? Cause I gotta tell ya, you won't win going like that."

Fitz gritted his teeth and sighed. "Get back to the subject, Bernard."

"Due to Nurse Johnson's temporary absence, you are without a nurse to oversee your activities and giving you your meds. So I took it upon myself to find a substitute for Nurse Johnson until her return."

Everyone's ears perked up at that word. The one word every school student hears that sets off a chemical in their genes and releases wild behavior and mischief. Substitute. What kid didn't try and do 'something' to a substitute teacher? Well, these people were no different.

"Amber come back?" Caleb asked timidly.

Dr. Fitz sighed. "No. Not for another two days." "Didn't I just say that?"

"Oh… Caleb miss Amber." The young man hung his head. Katherine had a rare moment of sisterly love and put an arm around his shoulders.

Fitz cocked his head at that. Did a mentally unstable patient just say that he missed his nurse? "Well… uh… Let me introduce you to your new nurse for the next three days; Nurse Gilbert."

She must have been standing behind him the whole time cause she appeared by stepping to the side from Fitz. The doctor waved his hand with a flourish like he was a magician revealing a magic trick.

The Joker yawned long and loud. "That's…a uuuh…nice trick, doc. But how about I show you a real magic trick, hm? I can make that new nurse disappear…"

Fitz visibly stiffened and Nurse Gilbert gulped audibly. The Joker giggled. Fitz turned to Nurse Gilbert and whispered, "If you need any assistance, page this number," he handed her a card with his pager number on it along with security's number.

"Uh, don't I get a walkie talkie?" she asked.

Fitz exhaled through his nose and eyed the group before him. "Unfortunately, Nurse Gilbert, our supply of radios has mysteriously disappeared since yesterday."

The Joker grinned innocently at the two medical personnel. "Now that is a magic trick." He giggled with his mouth closed.

Fitz handed Nurse Gilbert another number. "And if you need a different kind of assistance, this is Nurse Amber Johnson's cell phone number."

The Joker jolted straight in his seat. "How did you get her number? She hates you!"

Fitz gave him that annoyingly, dazzling grin; showing that he had successfully gotten all the purple dye out of his mouth. "When you're someone of a higher authority in the work place, you're access to information isn't as limited." He gave a wink and turned to go.

"I reeeeeally don't like that guy," the Joker muttered.

"I've noticed," Nigma replied.

Nurse Gilbert inhaled deeply and tucked the cards into her scrub's pants pocket. "Alright, let's get this started…"

….

Amber was in the middle of reading Jules Verne's Journey to the Centre of the Earth when the first call came. She was in the thirty-first chapter when her cellphone vibrated on the coffee table. She frowned at the device. She was lying languidly on the sofa and her cellphone was just out of reach unless she actually moved from her comfortable position.

She reached out her arm towards the phone but couldn't touch it. "Ugh." Amber gave an irritated huff and sat up, grabbing the cellular phone.

"Hello?"

"Miss Johnson?" asked a frazzled woman's voice.

"Yes, this is she."

"I'm Nurse Gilbert; I'm the one who's substituting for you until you get back-."

"Oh, that's nice. Thank you."

"Uh-Yes, ma'am-uh! I have a question concerning one of your charges-."

Amber stretched herself on the sofa and stifled a yawn. "Shoot."

"The one who thinks she's Batman-,"

"BATS!" came Caleb's familiar screech from the background.

"Oh no! Can somebody calm him down?"

"Nurse Gilbert?" Amber called, trying to reclaim the woman's attention.

"Yes?"

"You had a question about Katelynn 2?"

"Yes! Is there a special technique you use to make her stop singing this Ba- vigilante song she's come up with?"

Amber sighed and shifted in her seat. "Just start singing something from Sweeney Todd and she'll stop."

"But… I don't know any Sweeney Todd songs!"

"Oooh. Huh… That's not good. Um… How about any songs from Labyrinth?"

"What-Rinth?"

"Oh you gotta be kidding me…"

"Do you know any musical songs?"

"I don't like musicals!"

"What the-! Are you kidding me?! You never saw a Disney movie?!"

"My parents didn't like that so many dealt with magic and sorcery-!"

"Oh for the love of the Phantom of the Opera! Put me on speaker phone!" Amber waited a few seconds for the nurse to do what she asked.

"Okay, it's on speaker, Nurse Johnson."

"Hey, Katelynn 2, can you hear me?"

"Who said that?!"

Yep. She could hear her alright.

"It's me, Amber."

"Nurse Amber?... I don't see you! Where are you?! Are you invisible? You discovered the Cloak of Invisibility, haven't you?!"

"…No. Katelynn, I need you to stop singing the… Is Caleb still there?"

"Yeah, he's curled up in a ball and whimpering."

"I need you to stop singing That song, okay?"

"But I looove it sooo much! Na na na na-!"

"Katelynn! Stop that right now! I got another song for you."

"What is it?"

Amber took a deep breath. She didn't exactly want to do this over the phone but what choice did she have? She started singing, making her voice turn smooth and jazzy.

"Hey! Give me a listen you corpses of cheer;
Least those of you who still got an ear
I'll tell you a story make a skeleton cry
Of our own jubiliciously lovely corpse bride!"

Katelynn 2 let out a gasp and started singing along.

"Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown cuz it's really okay
You might try 'n' hide
And you might try 'n' pray
But we all end up the remains of the day!"

Amber sat back in her sofa and kept singing into the phone. She could only imagine the look on Nurse Gilbert's face.

"Well our girl was a beauty known for miles around
When a mysterious stranger came into town
He's plenty good lookin', but down on his cash
And our poor little baby, she fell hard and fast
When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope
So our lovers came up with a plan to elope."

"Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown cuz it's really okay
You might try 'n' hide
And you might try 'n' pray
But we all end up the remains of the day!"

She could hear Katelynn 2 singing the, "Yeah, yeah, yeahs," part of the song. It was a good thing Katelynn 2 and Amber shared a love for Tim Burton films.

"So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night
They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight
Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove
You don't need much when you're really in love,
Except for a few things, or so I'm told
Like the family jewels and a satchel of gold;
Then next to the grave yard by the old oak tree
On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three
She was ready to go, but where was he?"

"And then?"

"She waited."

"And then?"

"There in the shadows, was it the man?"

"And then?"

"Her little heart beat sooo loud."

"And then?"

"And then baby, everything went black.
Now when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust
Her jewels were missin' and her heart was bust
So she made a vow lyin' under that tree
That she'd wait for her true love to come set her free
Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand
When out of the blue comes this groovy young man
Who vows forever to be by her side
And that's the story of our own corpse bride!"

It was quite on the other end… well she couldn't hear Caleb screaming anymore; she could hear Katelynn 2 singing the ending to 'Remains of the Day.'

"Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown cuz it's really okay
You might try 'n' hide
And you might try 'n' pray
But we all end up the remains of the day!"

Once Katelynn 2 was only humming the song, Nurse Gilbert got back onto the phone, taking it off of speaker. "How did you do that?"

"You gotta know what they like."

"…That was a … mildly disturbing song."

"…You know nothing about Tim Burton, do you?"

"… Who?"

"Who hired you on as my substitute?"

"Doctor Bernard Fitz."

Oh yeah, she could hear the twitter pated tone in Nurse Gilbert's voice when she said the British doctor's name. It was like the man's sexiness completely masked his snobbishness. She rubbed her eyelids, screwing her face up in frustration. "Dr. Fitz?"

"Yes."

"Uh-huh… Nurse Gilbert, good luck."

"Thank you. I think that will be all."

Amber nearly busted out laughing. She held it in until she got off the phone. "God love her!" she wheezed.

…

A few hours later, Amber was just coming to the end of her book when her phone rang again. This time she had placed the phone closer and didn't have to move to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Nurse Johnson."

Amber's eyes widened when she heard the British accent. "Dr. Fitz?"

"Yes, hello, darling."

"Why are you calling me? Oh no. Did they do something to Nurse Gilbert?"

"Well, aaah, yes and no. She's fine physically… but I wouldn't be wrong in saying that it's not so for her mentally. It's a rather draining task."

"I've been at it for a year; she's got to handle them for three days."

Dr. Fitz chuckled on the other end. As much as Amber hated to admit it, she really did love the sound of his voice. Hated him; loved the voice. "Now this is nice, right? Just casually talking to one another; no arguing, no glaring-."

"Why are you talking to me on the phone?"

"Can't a guy just chat?"

"Chat? That's why you cal… How do you even have my number?"

"Dr. Arkham provided it for me in case I needed to contact you about your charges."

"Are you calling me to talk about my charges?"

"No."

"Is there a meeting or an announcement I didn't know about?"

"No."

"Then why do I hear your voice on my phone?"

"Well, I realize that I may have over reacted over that prank you pulled on me."

"How is the Purple People Eater style coming by the way?"

"I am purple free."

"Darn."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Amber quickly replied. She sat up and fiddled with the corner of a pillow.

"Anyway, I was wondering if there was a chance you and I could sit down and have a civilized talk with each other. Maybe have a bit to eat while we're at it…"

Amber shaped her right hand to look like a gun and placed it to her temple, silently pretending to shoot herself. "You're asking me out?"

"Smart girl. So shall we say, eight tomorrow night?"

"Uh-no-."

"Wonderful. Dress nice. I'll pick you up at-."

"No! I'm not letting you pick me up-!"

"Alright then, we'll meet each other at the Blue Moon Restaurant. Remember, eight o'clock. Good-bye, darling."

"No! I'm not going-!" *Click*

Amber groaned and buried her face in the sofa pillows. "Whyyyyy? Why me? Why me? I'm not even that pretty! Why can't he go chase after gorgeous girl and leave me and my pretty self alone!" She hugged the pillow to her chest and looked over at the opposite side of the sofa. A brightly colored, stuffed animal owl was there, looking at her with big eyes. It was just for decoration, but Amber ended up talking to it more often than she would admit. "Is it too much to ask, Hooty? Hm?" The owl provided no answer. Amber sighed and flopped back down onto the cushions. "Whyyyyy, God? Why?"

Now she had a date with Dr. Fitz… how the heck had she managed to do that? Would she go? …Yeah, it would be too mean for her to not show up and leave him there waiting. Either she was too nice or she was defective.

Picking up the stereo remote from the table, Amber pointed it at the sound system and clicked Play/Shuffle. 'Over My head' by Lit began to play.

"I'm in over my head!
They wanna try and build me up
So they can tear me down
I wish that I could be back there
But I'm right here right now

They've taken everything that I've had to give and
They say it's over but, man, I'm still here livin'
I don't know what to do, I think that maybe

I'm in over my head
Stuck in the red
Somethin' they said
Makes me think that I'm in over my head
Over my head
Over my head!"